At CoolSpeak, we meet student leaders everywhere, from packed auditoriums to small after-school clubs, and no matter the setting, one truth always stands out: leadership isn’t about having a title, it’s about learning how to take ownership of your own path.

That’s why we asked our CoolSpeaker Lamarr Womble, who spends his days helping students find their passion and confidence, to share the simple, powerful ways he’s seen young people step up and truly lead.

In this blog, Lamarr breaks down three real strategies that help students take charge in their schools, their decisions, and their growth. If we are in the business of creating leaders at the middle and high school level, it all begins and ends with autonomy and choice.

1. Build Leadership Through Healthy Boundaries

One of the most underrated ways students can take the lead begins by looking inward.

Something I see over and over again while coaching high-achieving student leaders is that they have no time because they don’t know how to say no, are scared to disappoint parents or advisors, feel pressure to do it all because their school is so small, etc.

Many think that if I do everything, at least my resume will look good for college. This may be true, but it also leaves leaders overwhelmed, disempowered, and disappointed if one of the ventures didn’t deliver the fruits of the effort.

Student leaders need environments where they can make their own choices without feeling guilt, shame, or blame for doing so. Spaces where the adult ego is not impacted if the student doesn’t take an AP course, chooses to drop a club, or doesn’t get admitted to mom’s alma mater.

There is nothing wrong with high expectations for kids, but how often is that vs. additional school budgets for AP students, or parents bragging about which college the student is going to?

Recently, I was interviewed by a middle school student leader about one of my biggest life lessons:
I shared with her a story about how scared I was to tell my parents I wanted to drop out of ROTC in high school after 2 years because it wasn’t for me. My dad was military for 21 years, and I was terrified to disappoint them. I remember we were driving to the mall one Saturday during my Sophomore year, and I blurted it out. “I don’t want to do ROTC anymore.” My parents looked at me, and both said, “ok.” That was the end of it. I dropped ROTC at semester’s end and picked up gym. The following year, I enrolled in my true interest, Intro to Marketing. This was one of 2 choices my parents allowed me to make about my own life, and it truly made me feel in control.

This demonstrates how students could have power over their lives, choices, and schedules. A kid with healthy boundaries becomes an adult with healthy boundaries.

2. Build Confidence Through On-the-Spot Leadership

Student leaders and highly engaged students in this generation love to be told what to do and exactly how to do it. They have a really hard time with directions that force them to make choices on their own or that are vague.

This is where one of my favorite activities and phrases comes into play to help students take the lead. Low-stakes practice, doing it their way, and living with the results.

• Pop-up challenges: One of the best ways to put your students on the spot, force them to make quick decisions, work as a team, and inspire them to do something in a short amount of time that maybe they thought wasn’t possible.
• Passion Social Media Campaign: Send your students out into the school, campus, cafeteria, or public space. Give them 15-30 minutes to talk to 10 people, asking them about their passion, writing that passion down, taking a photo with them, and having them post directly to their social media with a hashtag for the campaign. Give them 10 minutes to make a plan, and prep any materials you want to provide them.
• $20 fundraiser: Have your students choose a cause they would like to support. Give them 20 minutes to plan and design any materials they want to use to raise $20 in 30 minutes. Send them out into your school, campus, cafeteria, or public space to try to raise $20.
• Creative Pop-Up Event: Give your students a challenge that aligns with a school initiative or event. Challenge them to get 20 people to participate in a pop-up event, such as a dance-off or push-up contest. Give them 20 to plan and create any materials, and give them 30 minutes to complete the task.

In these challenges, all the roles, rules, and responsibilities are given to the students. You can go through the directions once. Then, after that, my favorite phrase to say to student leaders when they have questions is, “What do you think you should do?” I’ll repeat that phrase over and over again until they stop asking.

3. Train The Trainer

Not every student is cut out to be a coach or facilitator, but our job is to set the stage for some of your student leaders to be prepared to do the work you would do. This is why collegiate student programming boards are so effective: students do all the work and just check in with the full-time staff who work on larger projects, typically aligned with the department’s objectives.

Meanwhile, the lower-stakes events, concerts, and programs are student-run. On rare occasions, I’ll encounter a high school that does this, for example, in Pennsylvania, where I spoke at Great Valley High School. Besides being welcomed into the building by the principal, I was immediately handed off to the students running the event. I didn’t see another staff member until 2 hours later, when the event began. This is the potential power some of your leaders could have!

Students ran the auditorium, the AV system, event logistics, when and where students arrived at the event, introductions for me as the speaker, etc. It was awesome! Train your students on the job or skills they need to support other students as you would.

Hope this helps you get clear on ways you can pass along control to your students, helping them in the long run by continuing to give them autonomy and choice in their lives and leadership. They may not get it anywhere else in their life besides from you, show up for them this way!

Bring Lamarr to your school and give your students the tools to lead with purpose.

When we give students space to lead through choice, challenge, and real responsibility, we’re not just preparing them for school. We’re preparing them for life. Lamarr’s work reminds us that leadership grows when students feel trusted, empowered, and encouraged to take action on their own terms.

If you want to bring this kind of leadership development to your campus, Lamarr offers dynamic keynotes, hands-on workshops, student leadership trainings, and educator professional development, available as a powerful single visit or as a series woven throughout the school year to deepen impact.