Family engagement is more than a box to check on the school calendar. It’s the foundation of trust, communication, and long-term student success. On a recent Facebook Live for Family Engagement Professionals, Ernesto Mejía discussed one of the most common events in schools: Back-to-School Family Night, and how we can reimagine it to make it more meaningful.

For many schools, Family Night is the most well-attended event of the year. Families show up, students tag along, and schools often see it as their one big opportunity to connect. But here’s the question: are we making the most of it, or are we just going through the motions?

I’ve seen too many campuses invest time in planning, executing, and even debriefing family engagement events only to file away the notes and start from scratch the next year. My first challenge is this: stop reinventing the wheel. Summarize what worked and what didn’t. Share those notes with future leads. Put them on the calendar. Build from a foundation instead of starting over every year.

The next question is just as important: what does a successful family engagement event actually look like? Too often, the only measure of success is turnout. But showing up isn’t the same as engaging. Success might look like parents learning one another’s names, exchanging contact info, discovering the best way to communicate with staff, or uncovering hidden talents in the community. Define it before you begin, so everyone is working toward the same goal.

And, of course, you must clearly define the purpose of family engagement. If it’s only to meet teachers, you don’t need to pull families out of their homes—just send a video or email. But if the purpose is to build relationships, create engagement, and set the tone for the year, then the event must reflect that. Ask every staff member to write down what they think the purpose is. You might be surprised how different those answers are. Getting everyone aligned is key.

So what can we do differently for Family Engagement? Here are just a few ideas I’ve seen work:

• Bonfire Night: A school I visited in New Mexico combined their back-to-school event with their community bonfire. Families relaxed, talked, and built relationships beyond the classroom walls.
• Family Movie Night: Replace trailers before showing a movie with short school promos: upcoming events, PTO sign-ups, club opportunities. Keep them short, fun, and informative.
• Three Questions for Teachers: Instead of teachers repeating the same spiel, have families bring three questions to guide the conversation. This shifts the focus and helps parents learn about teachers as people.
• Family Videos: Ask families to record one-minute introductions sharing the strengths and challenges of their student. Teachers get to know students through the family’s eyes, not just through past reports.

Finally, don’t forget this: if you don’t want to be at your own event, why would families? Your energy sets the tone. Families know when you’re simply checking the box. If we expect parents to keep showing up, we have to show them that the event matters.

At the heart of this work is what I’ve called the Golden Triangle of Success: students, families, and schools working together. When all three communicate and trust one another, students are far more likely to succeed and enjoy the journey. We can’t stop caring after elementary school events like “Donuts with Dad” or “Muffins with Mom.” We need the same energy for financial aid nights, AP course information sessions, and everything in between.

So let’s stop running the same events on autopilot. Let’s get creative. Let’s engage. And let’s start building the relationships that truly change lives.

Family Nights don’t have to be predictable; they can be powerful. At CoolSpeak, we’re here to help schools reimagine these moments and turn them into lasting partnerships because family engagement events should be about connection, purpose, and follow-through.