Why aren’t parents showing up? The reasons range from logistical barriers to cultural differences, and understanding these challenges is key to improving participation. Family Engagement Expert Ernesto Mejia explores 10 common reasons that he has personally heard from families for why they miss school events and provides you with actionable solutions for each one. The goal is to help schools foster stronger connections with their communities.

1. Lack of Childcare or Food

Parents often cite the lack of childcare or food as a barrier to attending school events. Families with young children or tight schedules may struggle without these accommodations. 

Solution: If possible, offer childcare services or simple refreshments at events. Partner with local businesses or community groups who can sponsor meals or gift cards. Creating potluck-style gatherings can help keep costs manageable. Even small gestures like providing coffee or cookies can make a difference in your family engagement. 

2. Family Dynamics and Issues

All families have different dynamics where situations like separation, divorce, or nontraditional living arrangements can complicate attendance. Inviting the wrong person (e.g., mom instead of dad) can make families feel excluded. 

Solution: Be inclusive in your outreach by addressing invitations to “families” and “caregivers” rather than assuming specific roles or just parents. Work to understand family dynamics and ensure all guardians and family members feel welcome and involved instead of just “mom and dad”.

3. Scheduling Conflicts

Parents may have work commitments, conflicting schedules, or other priorities that prevent them from attending events. Especially if your school has a high free or reduced lunch population, many caregivers may not work the traditional 9-5 schedule or a job that allows flexible time off.

Solution: Offer events at varied times (morning, afternoon, evening) to accommodate different schedules or try creating an online RSVP where families can suggest the times best for them. The amount of family engagement can increase when you provide flexible options to get the meeting information after the event, such as recording events or sharing recaps via video or email. These tools can help students and other parents keep the full community informed with accurate information instead of word of mouth or missing out entirely.

4. Poor Communication

Despite emails, phone calls, and flyers, some families still miss event announcements due to mismatched communication preferences. Remember family dynamics from before? You might be communicating with a caregiver who doesn’t share information with everyone who needs it. 

Solution: Ask families how they prefer to receive information—email, text, social media, or physical mail—and tailor your communication strategy accordingly. On your forms, remember to allow the section to capture all caregivers’ contact information so no one is left out. Be sure to confirm throughout the year as dynamics change, addresses, phone numbers, etc, change too.

5. Unwelcoming Environment

Cultural differences, language barriers, or unclear messaging can make families feel unwelcome or excluded. 

Solution: Use inclusive language and acknowledge the cultural diversity of your school community. Small gestures, like learning how to say “thank you” in different languages or using visual aids like signs or symbols to guide families who may face literacy or language barriers can foster inclusivity. I would love to see more schools dedicated to culturally responsive family engagement, such as using designated “welcome ambassadors” at events to greet families who share their languages.

6. Transportation Issues

Families without reliable transportation may find it difficult to attend school events. 

Solution: Organize carpools, provide shuttle services, or partner with local ride-share companies for discounted rides. If transportation remains an issue, how can we expect good family engagement? Ensure families have alternative ways to engage, such as virtual event options. Or host smaller, localized meetings in different locations, partner with the library, rec center, coffee shop, or a venue – Meet the families where they are already going.

7. Confusing Event Messaging

Vague or unclear event descriptions can deter families from attending if they don’t understand the purpose or relevance. 

Solution: Use clear, engaging titles for events that highlight their value in a way everyone can understand. My favorite example is when a parent thought he didn’t need to attend “FAFSA Night” “because I already have a mortgage,” simply because he didn’t understand the topic title. If the event had been promoted as “How to Pay for College” instead of “FAFSA Night”, the family might have approached it differently. Ensure that promotional materials emphasize the benefits families will gain by attending; maybe create an FAQ section to answer common questions, allowing folks to feel prepared.

8. Perceived Lack of Value

Parents may feel that attending events isn’t worth their time if they perceive little benefit or find the information repetitive. 

Solution: Gather feedback from families to understand their needs and tailor events to address specific concerns. This can be done through evaluations or interactive components during your event to improve programming and demonstrate its value continuously. Don’t overlook the value of sharing testimonials or stories from other families who benefited from similar events and family engagement!

9. Cultural Differences

Differences in cultural norms, communication styles, and expectations can create barriers to attendance. 

Solution: Make an effort to recognize and accommodate cultural differences. It is not all about accommodation; it is about working with students, families, and community cultural leaders on how to celebrate culture by authentically incorporating elements into events. Simple actions, such as incorporating diverse languages or celebrating cultural traditions, can help families feel seen and respected.

10. Misaligned Priorities

Families may prioritize other activities over school events if they don’t understand their importance. 

Solution: Communicate the significance of events and how they directly impact students’ futures. For example, data and success stories can be used to illustrate how attending a high school orientation can lead to better college preparation and scholarship opportunities. Try collaborating with students to encourage their families to attend by explaining the value of events in their own words. Create small incentives, like certificates or recognition, for families who actively participate.

Understanding why families miss out on school events is the first step toward improving family engagement. By addressing common barriers like communication, scheduling, and inclusivity, schools can create a welcoming environment that encourages family engagement.

Looking for more custom advice and support to overcome your school’s unique family engagement challenges? Start with watching Ernesto’s YouTube video – An Ultimate Guide to Creating a Family Engagement Calendar and then connect with the CoolSpeak team to help build meaningful family engagement programs. Contact us to learn more about workshops and strategies tailored to breaking barriers and fostering stronger connections with families. Let’s work together to make your events a success!